Non-Sequiturs: 07.24.17

* Michael Phelps did not “race” a shark. I did not really expect Michael Phelps to race a shark, because I know that any shark “winning” such a contest would stop racing and start… eating. And yet, I tuned in kind of hoping that they found some way to put Michael Phelps and a shark in the water at the same time. What I’m saying is: I want the Discovery Channel sued for false advertising. I want to see Discovery outrun some class-action sharks, for my amusement. [Rolling Stone]

* Disrupt the Supreme Court, go to jail. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. [Washington Post]

* A court rules that a 20-day registration cutoff before the election violates the Massachusetts constitution. Given the Puritan roots of the Massachusetts constitution, I wouldn’t be surprised if it only allowed for same-day registration “by ordeal,” though. If you can grab that super-heated stone and walk 20 paces, you can vote as many times as you want. [Election Law Blog]

* The AALS is moving its 2018 conference from Austin to Chicago to protest Texas’s immigration and bathroom bills. Seems like a good move, but a little unfair to Austin. When the Northeast secedes and joins Canada, we should still let people from Austin come visit. [TaxProf Blog]

* Charges against a police officer who could not be convicted of killing a black person have been dropped. Because it is not illegal for cops to indiscriminately kill black people. [The Root]

* Technically, it’s illegal in New York City to park your ice cream truck and still play the ice cream jingle. Of course, someone who complains about the ice cream man in any situation where he is (a) selling ice cream and (b) not molesting children is the scientific definition of a terrible person. The fact that the person complaining is a white lady living in Harlem is just the cherry on top of the soft serving of poop. [Gothamist]


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